"Why Doesn't This Site Wiggle?"

"Where are the 800x600 pixel jpeg site maps? Where's the 200K background image? Why don't I see any Java applets nor ActiveX controls? You heathen, you don't even have frames! You couldn't html your way out of a paper bag if we gave you the embedded Java functions, OpenBag() and Leave()."

Well, gee, thanks for the feedback. While you're here, though, let me take the opportunity to respond. I expect most visitors to this page to be connecting as I do, on a modem tearing along at 28.8kb/s. There's nothing I hate more than getting to a page and waiting two minutes for some pointless background to load. And when was the last time you went to a page with wiggling graphics and said, "You know, my enjoyment of the whole web browsing experience has just tripled now that I've seen a spinning bullet point"?

Frames? I hate frames. I've yet to go to a page where frames actually added something. Mostly, they just get in the way. Scrolling is a fairly fundamental skill, and I expect that you're quite capable of doing it. I doubt you need much help finding the navigation buttons at the bottom of the screen. I certainly don't think you need to waste 40 pixels on the top and bottom just to make sure you don't lose your way.

But, even if everyone had fiber optic 100Mb/s lines into their houses and browsed the web with 21 inch 1280x1024 monitors, I still wouldn't put too many graphics on my page. The guy who said, "A picture is worth a thousand words" obviously never read Dune before seeing the movie (at 24 pictures per second for 2 hours, the movie should have been worth 172.8 million words, but I'd argue it wasn't worth anywhere near the book's roughly 125,000).

When it comes down to it, I'm a writer. And while I have other things on this site, its main purpose is to showcase my writing. If you just can't enjoy written words without something wiggling nearby, I'm sorry to say that my site, and my writing style in general, probably aren't for you. That's okay. There are literally millions of sites out there that cater directly to your tastes. I'm hoping there are also millions of people out there with tastes more similar to mine.

So, while I'll use graphics where appropriate here, don't expect to see too many wiggling things.


Michael P. Calligaro


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Page Last Modified 15 September 1997
Copyright Michael P. Calligaro